How to Screw Up Your Taxes - One Misstep at a Time
You know what? Accounting fees are expensive. So I’ve come up with a simple way to prepare your tax returns for free!
It takes three simple steps!
Print out tax return forms
Fill out tax return forms (preferably with a BLUE pen – pro tip)
File tax return forms
And you’re done!
Only problems are that…
It takes a super long time
It’s extremely hard
It’s almost definitely going to be very wrong
You’re probably going to have to deal with the IRS due to the errors
You’re going to have to pay someone double their normal rate to clean the mess
Might need an attorney to sort it out
Might get a bad attorney that makes things worse after billing you dry
Might end up fighting taxes, penalties, interest, and IRS notices for years to come
But hey, the tax preparation and filing are totally free!
… oh… so you don’t want to do that… maybe you value time…
Well if you use self-preparation tax software then you can do it even faster for the low-low cost of magnifying your mistakes!
… yeah… ok… so… still don’t want to do that? Huh… so I guess you want someone to help you…
Well, you can have an outsourced representative hold your hand through the process, misguiding you one step at a time. No need to deal with some “licensed professional” who went through all that snobby schooling. Really? Who wants to talk with a nerd?! Ha!! Not you!
Now, you can get the unqualified support you’ve been looking for. That way, when you file your tax return, you’ll have someone to mess it up with you, one misstep at a time.
… oh… really?... huh… so you don’t want to prepare your own return after all… it would be a problem if you messed it up… a big on… yeah… I get it…
Well, in that case, you can hire that same unlicensed preparer to DO YOUR TAXES FOR YOU!
No need to mess up your own tax returns when someone else can use their own tax software to ruin your financial future fast!
And don’t worry about them bothering you about the IRS notices that you’ll be getting, because they’ll almost surely ghost you once the letters start flooding in!
Oh… still don’t feel like dealing with tax issues… and definitely not alone… so you actually want it done right… you value competence and support? … huh… yeah… I get it…
Then don’t complain about my fees.
I’m preventing all that bad stuff and then some.
And don’t’ even worry about all the free out-of-scope stuff I do from the goodness of my underbilling heart.
At least not today 😊
And maybe you feel like not screwing up your taxes this year?
Book a quick call with me and let’s talk about how to do it right—from the start. No pressure, just a smarter path forward. Click here to do it right
All in good fun,
Jonathan Sussman CPA
Disclaimer: Since sarcasm doesn’t always come across in text, please DONT wreck your finances with poor tax preparation or any other bad ideas you may have gotten from this blog post or anywhere else
